You knew that you weren't going to get a chance and yet, you still continued to linger on the love for him. Both of you have known each other since both of you had the same class in middle school. Erwin, Hanji and Mike were also part of the group, easily figuring out your love for the stoic man. The four of you all group up together, all passing through high school then college together. Erwin pursued into business management, getting him to be CEO of a creation called the 'Survey Corps'. He was able to apply all of you with a job in his building, making life just easier for you. You sighed as you continued to do some paperwork in your office, your door slowly opening. You looked up from your work to see Hanji letting herself in, smiling at you as she closed your door right behind her. You put your pen down and chuckled as she made herself comfortable on your couch, reaching in over behind you and grabbing two Arizona's. You tossed one to her, catching it with ease.
"What brings you over?"
"Shorty in the other hall invited us over to his place for a get together."
"Oh? For what particular reason?"
You opened your can, Hanji doing the same as she followed your action. You took a sip, Hanji looking down at her can before replying.
"He said that he wants a little break from work since we haven't been talking to each other lately beside work."
"Oh, so he's finally realized that we are actually focused on getting some things done?"
You laughed as you continued to drink your drink, Hanji laughing right after you. She sighed as she took a swig at her drink, sighing with content as she placed her can on the coffee table. You looked out the big window, watching as cars passed by below.
"I'm surprised that he didn't realize that it was him the whole time that wasn't talking to us.."
You sighed as you continued to stare at the cars and the people down below. Hanji smiled as she leaned her head back, looking at you in an upside down manner. Hanji opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by a knock on your door. You looked at her first before looking at the door.
You saw your door open, seeing a timid girl peek her head in with a head set and mic placed on her head. You looked at your assistant a bit confused but still remained with a slightly expressionless expression.
"What is it, Mina?"
"Um, there is a man calling for your service, Ms. [ l/n ]."
Your looked at Hanji who just shrugged and laid herself down on your couch. You sighed as you fixed yourself a bit before walking out of your office. You looked back at the woman who was about to snooze on your couch and stopped before you left.
"Oi, Hanji. Don't drool on my couch. I don't want my assistants to be cleaning my couch again.."
"No promises, [ f/n ]!"
She laughed while she closed her eyes, ready to knock out, any minute. You sighed as you walked out of your office, Mina closing the door behind you. You walked through the hallways, many workers that you passed by, stopped to give you a polite bow. You nodded at their direction and continued your walk to the lobby. As you walked out of the elevator, you looked around the lobby, only to find a familiar freckled boy that was sitting in a chair patiently waiting. You smiled and walked up to the man, catching his attention. He noticed your presence and looked at your direction, an excited smile gracing his lips.
"Marco! So glad to see you, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, Ms. [ l/n ]! I have something to give you!"
He dug into his bag, giving you a small box. You smiled and accepted the gift, not realizing what he gave you after. He then handed you a small bouquet of roses and tulips. You laughed and accepted that gift too, Marco's smile big and wide.
"What are these for, Marco?"
"Just an appreciation gift for attending my basketball match the other day! I was so glad you came, I thought you weren't going to go since you seemed busy with work."
You chuckled and shook your head, giving him one of your genuine smiles.
"Of course I'd come watch, Marco! You were amazing, I never knew you can dunk a ball like that!"
You continued to laugh, holding the small things to your chest. Marco laughed along with you, a small dust of pink rising on his freckled cheeks. He reached and rubbed the back of his neck,smiling at you.
"Well I should get going, I don't want to disturb you and your work. I'll be heading off then! See ya, Ms. [ l/n ]!"
And with that, he jogged his way out of the building as you sent him a wave. You smiled as you started to head back to your office, taking the elevator. Mina came beside you at your pace, Mina looking up at you with a bit of confusion.
"Ms. [ l/n ], If I may ask, who was that just now?"
"He was a boy that I met about a few weeks ago."
You chuckled as you started to walk back to your office, Mina walking back to her desk which was placed right beside your office door. You opened your door, finding Mike in your office now, and Hanji knocked out on your couch. You sighed with relief as Mike was removing a paper towel that held Hanji's drool. You greeted him, placing the items on your desk. Mike looked at you and noticed the small gifts, Hanji waking up soon after.
"Where did you get those?"
"A friend of mine gave it to me earlier."
Hanji took a peek over your shoulder as you opened the box, smiling at the homemade treats that he had made just for you. Hanji took a cookie, along with the small note that had came along with the box of sweets.
"Just a boy that I saved while getting beaten up by these high school students."
"And I thought that you were actually forgetting the shorty for a minute!"
She laughed. You slightly stiffened at the sudden appearance of his mention in the conversation, Mike noticing your stiffness. Mike nudged Hanji, who was currently chewing down her cookie. She looked at you and felt a bit guilty.
"Sorry, [ f/n ] I--"
"No, no. Its fine. You didn't mean it."
You tried laughing it off but to no avail. You sighed as you took a seat on your chair, resting your head in your hands. Mike then took the courage and grabbed Hanji's arm, starting to drag her away from your office.
"We'll be seeing you later tonight, right [ f/n ]?"
"I'll think about it."
You smiled as you watched them leave your office. You heard the door close, letting out a sigh that you hadn't realized you were holding. Your eyes focused on the large window again, staring off into space for most of the work time you had left.
- - - - - - - -
You looked at yourself through your body mirror, looking at yourself as you dressed yourself in your [ f/s ] and some skinny blue jeans. You walked out of your room, grabbing a small container of your home made cornbread that they know they love. Before leaving the house, you looked down at your sleeping kitten on your couch, smiling as you kissed the top of his head.
"I'll be back, Oliver."
He looked up at you as he responded with a small mew. You giggled and left your condo, locking the door behind you. You took your car and placed the item on the passenger seat. As you made your way to Rivaille's house, you noticed a small kitten stuck on a ledge. You quickly parked your car and got out of it, helping the kitten. He looked up at you with gratitude, rubbing his head against your leg. You smiled as you gave his head a quick pet before going back to drive to your friend's house. Parking in front of the building, you rang his doorbell and Hanji's voice ringing through the intercom.
"Shorty, its [ f/n ]! Hey, [ f/n ]!!"
You laughed as you waved at the camera, hearing a buzz from the intercom. You walked in, knocking on his front door. You smiled when you noticed Rivaille open the door, greeting you with a nod.
"Hey, [ f/n ]. Glad you can make it."
"I wouldn't miss a small get together."
You laughed as he let you inside the house. You took off your shoes, placing them where the rest of the shoes were. You walked inside the house, placing your home made cornbread on his kitchen counter. Hanji came in to greet you with a hug, looking down at what you had brought.
"Oh my god. [ f/n ] brought cornbread!? OH MY--"
"Hanji, don't be making so much noise in my house."
"Sorry sorry! Its just that: [ F/N ] BROUGHT CORNBREAD!"
Hanji screamed, hugging you even tighter. You laughed as you hugged Hanji back, noticing Mike and Erwin making their way to the kitchen as well. You smiled as Mike started to sniff the air, Hanji about to dig into the bag where the good sweets were being held. Rivaille held the container away from her, making you laugh a little more. Erwin took a glance at you as kept staring at the bickering duo, mainly the short male that stood scolding at Hanji.
"Its good to see you, [ f/n ]. I haven't seen you in a while."
"Well, we do work in the same building, Its you that I haven't seen in awhile because of all the work that you've been doing lately."
You laughed, standing beside the tall blonde haired man. You crossed your arms as Hanji was able to get a piece of the bread, eating the piece in one bite. She squealed as she tried to reach for more, Rivaille pulling it away from her reach. You sighed as you continued to watch the two, not realizing that Erwin heard you sigh. Erwin looked at you again, giving your shoulder a gentle pat.
"It's not his fault that he's dense."
"I know..But I should be moving on already. Despite the fact that he's been with us for so long, he still hasn't realized it.."
You rubbed the back of your neck and looked away from the humorous scene, trying to pay attention to something else. Erwin was about to respond, until we heard the doorbell ring. Rivaille seemed to lighten up a bit, placing the plate down on his counter top, Hanji now able to reach for it.
"Ah, she's here."
Everyone looked at each other and expressed the same confused expression. Your eyes started to fill with confusion and hope that it wasn't what you thought it would be that's about to come through his front door.
Rivaille helped her carry her things that she decided to bring and led her to the kitchen where everyone was currently at. In came a girl a little taller than you, but still shorter than Rivaille. She had shoulder length orange hair, her smile illuminating the whole room. You all stared at her as she looked at the four of you with that angelic smile.
"This is Petra."
She was timid as you can tell and she gave a small bow of respect. Erwin gave you another side glance, slightly behind you as he slowly held one of your fingers with his free hand. Hanji was the first to approach, sticking her hand out as she gave a firm handshake.
"I'm Hanji Zoe! But you can call me Hanji!"
She greeted with energy. Mike then soon followed, giving a quiet and calm introduction. Rivaille looked at you and Erwin, raising a brow with curiosity. Erwin smiled as he gave her a handshake as well, introducing himself and yourself.
"I'm Erwin, and this is [ f/n ]."
"Please to meet you Petra."
She smiled as she gave you handshake as well. It got a bit awkward until Hanji decided to break the silence, stepping in front of Petra and Rivaille. Erwin still had his hand slightly holding your fingers, slowly moving so that it was holding your small hand. He only did this in these kind of situations where you needed comfort, and he can tell by the way that this conversation is going to turn out.
"So, Petra! What brings you over to Shorty's place?"
"What, my girlfriend can't come over to my house to meet my friends?"
Rivaille said, defending her. You slightly cringed at the sound girlfriend leaving his lips. Erwin then squeezed your hand, your hand weakly squeezing back. Hanji laughed as she took a few glances at you, catching your hurt expression. Behind that gentle looking smile and laugh was a sadness covering your calls for comfort. Outside you were laughing along with everyone else, even laughing to some remarks to how Rivaille met Petra in the first place, you kept it clean. But your friends besides Rivaille knew how you were feeling on the inside. You wanted to scream with despair and cry out that your heart couldn't take it no more. You've been doing this for so long, you became immune to having this gesture. Erwin still had a good hold of your small hand, feeling your hand shake underneath his. Erwin stood, causing you to stand as well. The attention was toward you two, making you looked up at the blonde man a bit confused.
"Its getting a little late, I'm going to take [ f/n ] home if that's fine with you guys."
"Yeah, if she has something to do the next day then sure."
Rivaille replied, his arm wrapped around Petra. The ginger looked at you with a smile, looking back at her with a smile as well. Erwin led you out with a gentle tug on your hand, Hanji waving at the two of you. Both of you started to put on your shoes, waving a last goodbye to the small party you had. As the door closed behind you, Erwin led you to a small hallway around the corner, letting you lean against the wall. You looked down, knowing that Erwin was standing in front of you. The hallway was dark, enough to not Erwin notice that tears were already leaking through your eyes. However, Erwin always knew when you needed comfort the most, because he was the one to always be there for you when your heart broke the most. And he thought that this time killed you. He heard you tried to stifle a sob, only making him reach over and wrapping his arms around your smaller body. You sobbed into his chest, making Erwin sigh as he held you even tighter.
"He's not worth anything, [ f/n ].."
"I-I know..Bu-But I-.."
You couldn't find the words. You continued to hold the back of Erwin's shirt, his face moving to slightly nuzzle itself on your shoulder. You felt his breath on your neck and ear, your cheeks growing a bit warm. You were used to these moves and yet, you still blushed to the actions anyway as if they were something new. Your crying started to decrease, your face now buried in his chest. You heard Erwin sigh once again, his grip releasing you. You looked up at the familiar man, letting him wipe your tear stained cheeks from your face. His blue eyes looked down at your [ e/c ] and gave you a small and comforting smile. You smiled back, weak and tired as you looked down to grab your things that you had set on the floor. You and Erwin got out from the hallway, going to the elevators.
"I'll send you home, just so that you have somebody with you while you're at this state."
He smiled as he gave Rivaille a text that he was going to leave his car at his place before you him to your car that was parked downstairs. You both hadn't realized that Mike was there listening to your conversation to see how you were holding up. Mike then re-entered the building with some soda in his hands. Hanji was laughing at something while Petra was giggling at her boyfriend scolding his friend. Mike placed the soda on the kitchen counter, catching their attention.
"I've got the soda."
"Ah, Thanks Mike. I'll go set them up."
"Let me help."
The couple then moved to the kitchen, leaving a place for Mike to sit. Hanji soon stopped her laughter, looking up at the ceiling as she was spread out on the couch.
"How is she?"
"She was crying. I think Erwin is going to take her home."
Hanji sighed as she sat up, her line of vision focusing on the couple the kitchen who were laughing at something they were talking about. Hanji scratched her head as she looked at Mike with a sad expression. She looked at Rivaille again, watching him chuckle at something Petra had said.
"God damnit Rivaille.."
- - - - - - - -
Erwin was always with you, doing his best to comfort you. You appreciated his comfort, letting him know on how your feelings were. You hadn't realized it until later that there might be something going on in Erwin's mind, making you a bit conscious about your feelings toward him as well. After work, you and Hanji had went to the closest bar where you knew Jean works. You were able to get some discounts while he was working so you and Hanji took that to and advantage. You and your friend entered the bar, Jean looking at who had entered.
"Oh, [ f/n ]! Its good to see you! Hello Ms. Zoe!"
"Hey Jean, two beers please."
You greeted with a smile as you took a seat on one of the stools. Hanji started to chat away about what she did for her research today, also taking a few breaks to drink from her share of beer. You hadn't realized that a lot of time has passed by and you can feel yourself starting to slowly lose yourself to the alcohol. You nodded off here and there, Hanji looking at you curiously.
"Je-..Jean! A be-beer!"
"U-Um, Ms. Zoe, should I give her one more?"
"No, that's alright, she's had enough already."
Hanji laughed as she dialed someone on her phone, hanging up once she gave enough information. A few minutes later, Erwin came through the door in regular attire. He noticed you slightly passed out on the counter top, walking over to you as he shook you slightly.
"Hey, [ f/n ]. Wake up."
You shook your head slightly, making him sigh. Erwin looked at Hanji as she shrugged her shoulders, making Erwin look at the copper haired boy. He slightly flinched as he looked at him with a stern look, making have cold sweat.
"How much beer did she have?"
Jean replied. Erwin nodded as he started to carry you bridal style out of the bar, Hanji tipping Jean before they left. He gave them a goodbye call and continued to wipe the counter. Hanji opened the the passenger door, Erwin placing you on the seat. Erwin turned to look at Hanji, her face a bit red from drinking.
"Thanks for calling me. I'll take her home."
"Thanks Erwin. I'll see you on Monday."
She waved as she started walking back to her place, her hands stuffed in her pockets. Erwin climbed into his car, starting it and making his way to your house. Once arriving, he was able to grab your house keys from your purse, opening your front door. He sighed as he held you, making his way inside your house. He closed your door, not realizing that it was partially open. He walked into your bedroom, gently placing you on top of the mattress. You shifted in your bed, your cheeks flustered pink for being drunk. Erwin looked down at you as he watched you sit up, rubbing your eyes tiredly. You looked at Erwin, catching his attention.
"Ne, Erwin~ Why doesn't he notice me?"
He just continued to stare at you, his expression starting to soften. He was about to say something, but you interrupted him. You tugged on his large hands, making him slightly blush a bit by your action.
"Erwin, why is he so dense?~ Am I somebody that will never be able to love?"
You continued to ramble, slightly sitting on your knees. Erwin stood on your bedside, staying quiet as you continued your drunken rants. Erwin noticed tears again, instinctively wiping them as you nuzzled your cheek into his large hand.
"Am I just not..good enough for him?"
"No, No you aren't..You just need to move on.."
You heard his response, looking up at him as your [ e/c ] eyes shone beautifully with the moonlight that passed through your window. He looked down at you, his other hand now cupping your other cheek. Meanwhile, Rivaille looked up at your condo, walking through the gates as he slowly made his way to your front door. Rivaille usually came to you for time to talk about his decisions and you were always there to help him when he needed to. He has been with Petra for a while and he's going over to your house to ask if it is a good time to propose to her. He walked to your door step, not realizing that Erwin's car was parked on her drive way. He knocked on the door, only for the front door to slowly open. He looked at it a bit confused and let himself enter your house, looking around cautiously.
"[ f/n ]?"
He called but heard no answer. He looked around the living room, then the kitchen. With no one downstairs, he had the feeling that you were probably upstairs. He made his way up, starting to hear voices. But it wasn't just you, there was another. His eyes narrowed with suspicion and crept a little closer to your bedroom.
"He's nothing, [ f/n ]. If he's too dense to notice how..how beautiful you are..then he isn't made for you.."
Rivaille hadn't realized that he was ease dropping until he noticed that he was just standing right behind your slightly closed door. He stared at you, noticing something shining on your cheeks. Rivaille has never seen you cry before, especially in front of someone like Erwin. The space between you and him bothered Rivaille.
It was so close.
It frustrated him.
His gentle gesture toward you continued, watching as his eyes focused on only you, his masculine slowly and cautiously roaming your back. Rivaille continued to stare, his fists clenching at his sides. He shook slightly, shaking with anger for no apparent reason that he thought of. Erwin lifted your chin to look into your eyes, your hands resting at your side.
"[ f/n ]..Rivaille will never love you as much I will.."
His eyes widened, a small gasp leaving him. His heart was thumping loudly, beating so hard that he's never felt it before. A bit of heat risen to his cheeks, as he looked down at his feet feeling a bit of guilt.
"How long has she.."
"No more. I'll be here for you now..for as long as it takes.."
Rivaille looked up, right at he time where Erwin grabbed her chin and making you look at his blue eyes. Your hands were resting at your sides, your eyes fixed on him and only him. Rivaille's body stiffened once Erwin took the chance and claimed your lips, a bit soft at first. He noticed you being slightly hesitant about it until you finally melted into his arms. The arms that were once resting at your side was now resting on his broad shoulders, giving him the signal to be more passionate. He took this to another step, now moving on top of you. You slightly gasped for air, Erwin moving to the right side of your neck. Letting him, you let out a gasp as he tangled your delegate fingers into his blonde hair.
"I love you [ f/n ].."
And with those final words, he left her house. Rivaille stormed out off her property, his eyes focused on his feet. Once at a good distance, he let out a scream that seemed to be filled with agony as he kicked a flower bush. He didn't care how wrinkled his pants were, or his shoes being dirty with mud. He wanted to desperately know why he was so frustrated. He leaned against a brick wall that connected to your front gate, leaning over slightly as he let his free hand rest on his knee. He was panting slightly, clutching at his hurting chest.