Remorse [ Au!Erwin ]

Although you were going out with this man for about 2 years now, you knew what was up with him. In the beginning, he was the man that you truly fell in love with until one day, he had changed. He never knew your health, bank and friendship businesses since he didn't have the need to know. However, Erwin was starting to get even greeter and selfish as time continued to pass. A boyfriend that never knew about your health abilities was as low as a person can get. You were sitting on the couch, holding the small cushion from the couch and held it to your chest, your eyes fixed on the tv screen. It was late at night and you were usually waiting for your boyfriend to come home from "work", he called it. You knew that he was in a relationship with his new intern from his company, easily finding it out by going through his phone. You heard the door click open and heard him enter the apartment, feeling his once dreamy blue hues fall onto the back of your head. 

"You're awake? Its late. I thought I told you to stop waiting for me when I come home late.."

Ah, his voice that still rang through my ears are still there..

"O-Oh, I just wanted to tell you that I made you some dinner..a-and I was waiting for you until you messaged me you were coming later.."

You explained, your eyes still fixed at whatever the tv was playing. He placed his jacket on the rack near the front entrance, taking off his shoes. He loosened his tie as he walked past the living room and into the bedroom. 

"Alright then. Just hurry up and get yourself to bed. You look like you need sleep."

He said so lightly, placing his briefcase beside his work desk. You closed your eyes, feeling the amount of anger rising from your conscience as you rose and stomped your way to the bedroom where Erwin was currently sorting out some paper work. 

"Why?" Erwin turned to look at you, his gaze going back to organizing his desk.

"Why what?"

"I know what you do after work, Erwin."

He finally put his full attention on you, his brows pressing together as he placed a hand on his own hip. Your tinier hands clenched into fists, trying to keep that hard yet slightly tired glare at the blonde man.

"What are you talking about?"

"Because of that day, yo--you started going over to her house.."

"Who? [ name ] wh--"

"Stop acting dumb, you jackass!!"

This took Erwin by a bit of shock as he glared at you, standing his ground. As you stood yours, you continued to talk but Erwin was glaring even harder on you, causing your anger to turn into a wave of sadness.

"[ name ], you're sta--"

"You-You're cheating on me with that i-intern of yours, aren't you?" At that time, he couldn't answer. You wanted to scream, scream at his face saying you were lying and just joking. But you weren't ready for the truth. No matter how long you knew, yourself.

"Erwin, te-tell me!"

"Its only because you couldn't do it..She actually pays attention to me!"

You were shocked. That's his excuse? Was it because you were always busy with work as well? No, there was a different reason..You loved this man and yet..the man in front of you is a man that you hardly know.

"Pa-..Pays..--"

"Unlike you, you're always busy with being careful and yet, not even here in the apartment sometimes. Should I argue that you could be cheating on me too?"

"N-..No! Its not like that! I--"

"Unlike you, Jessica is someone who's actually there when I need her the most. Just thinking that I fell in love with you? I wish I met Jessica first and maybe, I wouldn't have to come home and take care of a body for once."

His words were concrete.
His words were painful.
His words were a stab to my heart..

It wasn't long before your tears decided to show and you were staring at him with great sadness. He looked like he didn't feel a thing and stared into your eyes with dead emotion. Of course you looked tired. You slept knowing that your boyfriend was sleeping with another woman. You were heart broken, and right now, he was making it break even more. 

"S-So..those moments we w-went through..they me-mean nothing..? I--I'm no-nobody to you no-now..?"

You sobbed, hands tightly clenched as you were trying desperately to hold back the harder sobs. Erwin glared as he gathered his work belongings, and started packing out of no where. 

"Whe--"

"I'm going to see Jessica."

"N-No! Wai--Erwin, please do-don't leave!"

Soon enough, he had already placed a duffle bag over his shoulder, you following him as he made his way to the door. You clutched onto his sleeve, only for him to jerk his arm away from your grasp.

"Er-Erwin ple--"

"You're so selfish..no wonder you only have a few friends. Goodbye [ name ]."

And with that, you were left in the pit of darkness, looking at the opened front door to your apartment. Your knees were so weak that they failed to keep you on top, making you fall to your knees. 

he left me..

You stood there as tears fell from your eyes as you quietly laughed to yourself, a sad smile gracing your lips. You continued for a little bit, only to have your hands weakly grasp your cellphone, making a quick phone call. 

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Y-Yes..This is [ f/n ]..a-and I'd like to speak wi-with Dr. Zoe pl-please.."

"Yes one moment."


.   .   .


"Hello? [ name ]?"

"Hey Doc..h-he left."

"'he'? Wait, [ na--"

"I-..I need the am-ambulance qu-quick.."

And with that, you felt a painful clutch to your chest, earning yourself a small grunt. The paramedics entered your apartment, just in time to grab you before you fainted. They carried you quickly before taking you to your hospital, despite the noise that was being made throughout the building. 


~   ~   ~


Erwin came back to his old apartment to gather some of his other things until he fecund his front door open. He was confused to why it was open until he walked in himself. He looked around, finding the rest of the things he wanted and decided to freeload a little longer. 

"Erwin? Oh, you're here."

"Hm? Oh, Mrs. Bryde. Good afternoon."

"Are you here looking for your girlfriend? She's currently not here at the moment."

"[ name ]? of course she isn't, she's working."

"Ah, no son. Did you not hear?"

Now Erwin was completely confused to what she was mentioning. He sat down, offering her a seat beside him. She sat down, giving him a small smile, to which Erwin thought as a sad one.. 

"[ name ] is at the hospital right now..It seems that she had a heart attack last night." Erwin stayed quiet, giving her a signal to move on.

"That girl is always working her hardest..Its a great thing that she has you, son. Without you, I'm not sure she will be able to hold up much longer.."

"Longer? Longer for what?"

Mrs. Bryde looked at him with concern as she can feel herself feel the sadness wave over her. She gave a few sniffles here and there, Erwin offering some tissue. Her weak and slightly old hand gently placed itself on his own, Erwin looking deep for answers.

"[ name ] has heart problems my dear..She's had them for quite a long time.."

Erwin then slowly clicked all the things together:

The tiredness in her breathing
The slightly hunched back
The tired and sleepless eyes

Erwin stood up, catching her attention. He ran out the door, running as fast as he can. He ran to the hospital that he remembers you getting your medicine from and ran toward the building, hoping that you were there for sure.

He was the selfish one..

She was the one that need the attention the most..

She waited for him countless nights, just to great him a Welcome Home..

And he was the one that ended up ruining that relationship with her..

He ran to the desk, asking for her room. The desk lady said her room number, Erwin running in that direction hurriedly. He looked both ways until he spotted her room, looking through the window. Her body lay on the hospital bed, air given to her as her tired looking eyes were closed. He stared at her, realizing that he hasn't felt like this until he finally realized it earlier today. 

He still loved her..and he screwed everything up..

He slowly entered her room, still keeping his gaze at her body. As if magic were to occur, she slowly opened those tired eyes and caught a glimpse of him when she woke up. She was shocked at first, finding him in her room and in a hospital in the first place. He looked tired as well, hurried too. 

"Wh-..What a-are you doing here..?"

"I-..I heard.. from Mrs. Bryde.."

He said, still looking into her eyes. Erwin noticed where her tears had stained in her face as he gently wiped the dry marks. She slightly flinched at the action, only to relax just a little bit. She broke away from the eye contact, looking anywhere else besides him.

"H-..Hey.."

His attention was caught when he saw her gaze looking out the window, her eyes slowly gaining that emotion he once saw for the first time. She turned back to him, her gaze locked.

"I-I want you to do me a favor..since I won't have that much time left.."

He froze from his spot, but still gave a response with a nod. She looked at the clock behind him, her eyes going back to his blue ones. You tried your best to smile, your left hand letting it self carefully place onto his.

"C-Can you tell me those three words you used to tell me..?"

He continued looking, his hand that was underneath hers, intertwining with her smaller hand. Huh, its so funny that it was a perfect fit. A perfect fit together. He hadn't realized it himself until he said those three words, right before he slowly felt her grip loosing on his own hand.

"[ na-name ]..I-I love you.."

He wasn't sure if he heard her because all her heard was that monotonous sound coming from the heart monitor, his fresh tears landing on her cold perfect fitted hand.